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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Here are the most useful activities I can tink of for a manager: * Eliminate the assholes. Nothing can drain the life-force out of your employees as a few sadistic assholes who seem to exist for the sole purpose of making life hard for others. Unfortunately, assholes often have important job skills that you’d like to keep. My advice is that it’s never wortth the tradeoff. In an OA5 company if you’re making your coworkers unhappy, then you’re incompetent by definition. It’s okay to be ‘tough’, and it’s okay to be ‘aggressive’ and it’s okay to disagree — even shout. Some conflict is healthy. But if you do it with disrespect, or you seem to be enjoying it, or you do it in every situation, guess what — you’re an asshole. And you’re gone. * Teach employees how to be efficient. Do creative work in the morning, and do routine, brainless work in the afternoon. For example, staff meetings should be held in the afternoon. * Keep meetings short. Get to the point and get on. Make it clear that brevity and clarity are prized. * Respectfully interrupt people who talk too long without getting to the point. At first it will seem rude. Eventually it gives everybody permission to the same. * Be efficient in little things. For example, rather than have some Byzantine process for doling out office supplies, add $25 a month to each employee’s paycheck as a ‘supply stipend’ and let employees buy whatever they need from their local store. If they spend less, they keep the difference. * If you create an internal memo with a typo, just line it out and send it. Never reprint it. Better yet, stick with email.
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

A young intern, he works very hard but does not always get proper recognition. Asok is intensely intelligent but naive about corporate life; the shattering of his optimistic illusions becomes frequent comic fodder. He is Indian, and has graduated from the Indian Institutes of Technology (IIT). The other workers, especially the boss, often unwittingly trample on his cultural beliefs. On the occasions when Asok mentions this, he is normally ignored. His test scores (a perfect 1600 on the old SAT) and his IQ of 240 show that he is the smartest member of the engineering team. Nonetheless he is often called upon by the Boss to do odd jobs, and in meetings his ideas are usually left hanging. He is also seen regularly at the lunch table with Wally and Dilbert, experiencing jarring realizations of the nature of corporate life. There are a few jokes about his psychic powers, which he learned at the IIT. Yet despite his intelligence, ethics and mystical powers, Asok sometimes takes advice from Wally in the arts of laziness, and from Dilbert in surviving the office. As of February 7, 2014, Asok is officially gay, which never impacts any storylines but merely commemorates a decision by the Indian Supreme Court to uphold an anti-gay law.
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Dilbert is an American comic strip written and illustrated by Scott Adams, first published on April 16, 1989. The strip is known for its satirical office humor about a white-collar, micromanaged office featuring engineer Dilbert as the title character. The strip has spawned several books, an animated television series, a video game, and hundreds of Dilbert-themed merchandise items. Dilbert Future and The Joy of Work are among the most read books in the series. Adams received the National Cartoonists Society Reuben Award in 1997 and the Newspaper Comic Strip Award in the same year for his work on the strip. Dilbert appears online and in 2,000 newspapers worldwide in 65 countries and 25 languages.
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Anyone who ever toiled in the office “environment” will identify with the ironclad axioms put forth by Dogbert in this collection of office wisdom. So, move over Murphy’s Law, and forget about the One-Minute Manager, Dogbert is taking the business-book business by storm.
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Sep 24, 2016 Brentman99 rated it it was amazing I think that Dilbert is so funny because the stuff is true. I read this while attending a project management course and within a few minutes I found a couple of strips that applied directly to what I was working on.If you work in an office environment, there will be more than a few laughs and moments of nodding in agreement. Scott Adams’s office humour is real. Enjoy. flag Like · see review
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

Dec 04, 2007 Angie rated it it was amazing Anyone who has ever worked in an office or any work setting can find humor in the Dilbert comics and directly relate to many of the situations. Scott Adams has a great way of ridiculing all that is ridiculous in business. I think most execs would do well to read this, before implementing the next big project (and wasting money) to understand their personnel better than any team-building exercise will ever offer. flag Like · see review
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

* Taking Training — If you get a kick out of making your boss nervous, take training classes. Bosses know that when you display an appetite for learning, it means one thing: you’re planning to leave for a better job. Your pointy-haired boss would prefer that you remain slightly incompetent because incompetence is less expensive than training, and incompetent employees can’t leave for better jobs.
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Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies

* The Evolution of Idiots — I blame sex and paper for most of our current problems. Here’s my logic: Only one person in a million is smart enough to invent a printing press. So, when society consisted of only a few hundred apelike people living in caves, the odds of one of them being a genius was fairly low. But people kept having sex, wand with the every moron added to the population, the odds of a deviant smarty-pants slipping through the genetic net got higher and higher. When you’ve got several million people running around having sex all willy-nilly the odds are fairly good that some pregnant ape-mom is going to squat in a field someday and pinch out a printing-press making deviant. Once we had printing presses, we were pretty much doomed. Because then, every time a new smart deviant came up with a good idea, it would get written down and shared. Every good idea could be built upon. Civilization exploded. Technology was born. The complexity of life increased geometrically. Everything got bigger and better. Except our brains. All the technology that surrounds us, all the management theories, the economic models that predict and guide our behavior, the science that helps us live to 80 — it’s all created by a tiny percentage of deviant smart people. The rest of us are treading water as fast as we can. The world is too complex for us. Evolution didn’t keep up. Thanks to the printing press, the deviant smart people managed to capture their genius and communicate it without having to pass it on genetically. Evolution was short-circuited. We got knowledge and technology before we got intelligence. We’re a planet of nearly 6 billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
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The comic strip originally revolved around Dilbert and his “pet” dog Dogbert in their home. Many plots revolved around Dilbert’s engineer nature or his bizarre inventions. Also prominent were plots based on Dogbert’s megalomaniacal ambitions. Later, the location of most of the action moved to Dilbert’s workplace and the strip started to satirize technology, workplace, and company issues. The comic strip’s popular success is attributable to its workplace setting and themes, which are familiar to a large and appreciative audience; Adams has said that switching the setting from Dilbert’s home to his office was “when the strip really started to take off”. The workplace location is Silicon Valley.
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Dilbert portrays corporate culture as a Kafkaesque world of bureaucracy for its own sake and office politics that stand in the way of productivity, where employees’ skills and efforts are not rewarded, and busy work is praised. Much of the humor emerges as the audience sees the characters making obviously ridiculous decisions that are natural reactions to mismanagement.
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One of the oldest engineers, Wally was originally a worker trying to get fired to get a severance package. He hates work and avoids it whenever he can. He often carries a cup of coffee, calmly sipping from it even in the midst of chaos or office-shaking revelations. Wally is extremely cynical. He is even more socially inept than Dilbert (though far less self-aware of the fact), and references to his lack of personal hygiene are not uncommon. Like the Pointy-Haired Boss, Wally is utterly lacking in ethics and will take advantage of any situation to maximize his personal gain while doing the least possible amount of honest work. Squat and balding, Wally is almost invariably portrayed wearing a short sleeved dress shirt and tie. Adams has stated that Wally was based on a Pacific Bell coworker of his who was interested in a generous employee buy-out program—for the company’s worst employees. This had the effect of causing this man—whom Adams describes as “one of the more brilliant people I’ve met”—to work hard at being incompetent, rude, and generally poor at his job to qualify for the buy-out program. Adams has said that this inspired the basic laziness and amorality of Wally’s character. Despite these personality traits Wally is accepted as part of Dilbert, Ted, Alice, and Asok’s clique. Although his relationship with Alice is often antagonistic and Dilbert occasionally denies being his friend, their actions show at least a certain acceptance of him.

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